If My Mom's Reading This, Then Hi Mom!
by CharmingLittleRuby
Summary: (TWO-SHOT) It was just another day in Shrek's swamp, when some bad news was announced to him. Now Shrek thinks he can't move on with life. Until a strange spaceman came into his life...
1. Chapter 1: The Ogre

**A/N: Hellu everyone who actuall** **y has the guts to read my first fanfic!**

 **Before we begin, I need to let some stuff out of my inside.**

 **First of all, the title literally has nothing to do with the story. It was just a title my friend came up with (shout-out to her).**

 **Next, don't get to serious about this ship/story. It was just something I made because I was bored with my life. Also, I made this to test my vocabulary. I recently have this strange addiction with writing stories. :p**

 **And lastly, shout out to my fabulous classmates cause' why not ;)**

 **Ok, I'll shut up now and let you read this random fanfic.**

 **Ruby out, PEACE.**

 **(DISCLAIMER: ALSO I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING)**

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Chapter 1: The Ogre

 **[SHREK'S POV]**

It was another beautiful day at my swamp. I know I just woke up, but I knew it was gonna be a beautiful day. I can feels it. After laying down, wide awake for a moment, I decided to start my day.

So I sat up, yawned and stretched, got out of bed, put on my favorite outfit, and made my way to the dinning room, sunny and all. Why is a green ogre that lives in a swamp like me acting optimistic, you ask?

Well that's because I just realized how my life is awesome in so many levels.

First, I got married to this astonishingly kick-butt princess named Fiona. Later on, we had 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls, whom we just set on fire yesterday. Heck, I even have an annoyingly talkative donkey named Donkey for a sidekick. And lastly, and most definitly not the least, I'm still living in... MY SWAMP! YEAH! I'm sorry, I got ahead of myself.

I entered the dining room, expecting ready-made breakfast made by my beloved Fiona. But then I stopped on my tracks. "*GASP*" I gasped. There was no plate full of piss stuffed with piss with a side of garnished piss, nor a pitcher of mud with a floating eyeball in it. The dining table wasn't even filled with plates and utensils! And worst of all, Fiona wasn't there! I was so dazed and confused. Suddenly, a piece of paper flew and stuck to my face. I took it off.

It read:

"Gone somewhere—Forever.

Continue life without me :)

-Fiona"

Wait, what?! What does "Gone somewhere—Forever." mean? "Continue life without me"?! I can't do that! I was baffled even more. Suddenly, the world around me started to spin. I was getting dizzy. I suddenly found breathing difficult. What was happening to me?! My brain started to ache and my heart started to swell. That's it. I couldn't take it anymore.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I shouted in agony as I stormed out of the dining room. I opened the main door and ran to an unknown direction. My eyesight started to get blurry due to reading Fiona's note, so I didn't know where I was going. I ran and ran, hoping I'll end up someplace where I can calm down.

Few minutes passed, and I still haven't gotten into an accident. On second thought, I might've spoke to soon. I suddenly tripped on something—perhaps a rock—and fell down. Judging by the smell, I fell down on a puddle of melted frogs. Apparently, it didn't feel like I fell face-flat on a puddle of melted frogs. Instead, it felt like I was experiencing cold wind in a very wide space. Wait, were those arms wrapped around my waist?

Oh great, now my mind was playing tricks on me!

I slowly started to regain my vision. By then, I realized I wasn't face-flat on a puddle of melted frogs. I was soaring about 300 feet above the sky. Woah. Did that mean I had grown a pair of wings? Oh my shorts! No wonder my mind was playing tricks on me! I wonder how they look like! Were they feathery like Cupid's? Or were they like those of a butterfly? I hope it wasn't the latter.

I checked my back to find out. Sadly, there were no wings. In it's place was a strange, intimidating spaceman with wings at it's back. Wait, what?!

"*SCREAMS*" I screamed in horror. "*SCREAMS*" the spaceman echos. He looked like he wanted to drop me. Fortunately, he didn't.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?! AND WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" I asked, demanding a reasonable answer. The spaceman face froze, struck by how my question came out. "Well, *coughs*, I'm Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. And I want to help you" he answered, staring into the unknown and posing in front of the sun dramatically. That did not really satisfying me. Noticing that, he continued.

"You see, I was just flying around, like I usually do, when I noticed you running into the darker part of the woods, obviously blinded. I decided to swoop down and save you from falling onto a puddle of melted frogs."

Now I was slightly satisfied. Slightly. There was an awkward silence.

"Your welcome" he said, breaking the silence. I still didn't know what to say. For some reason, my brain wasn't functioning because of the guy carrying me. Suddenly, sunlight reflected from Buzz's helmet shone onto my face and blinded me once more.

"HISSSSSSS" I hissed like that snake from The Jungle Book.

"Maybe I should splash some water to your face to refreshen it" Buzz worriedly suggested, already swooping down more then 300 feet down without waiting for my reply. I could tell this guy liked going fast cause' with a blink of the eye, we were only inches above a peaceful, flowing river. He removed one arm off me and used it to scoop up some water. He splashed it on my face. Ooh. It felt so... refreshing, just as he guranteed.

My eyesight became clearer than ever for some odd reason. I could finally see the more glorious things in life. Like the heart of the guy who just saved my life—twice.

"T-t-thank you" I muttered, somewhat amazed by him. "Just doing my job" he replied casually. Another silence occured between us. But this time, it was more comfortable.

I let him take me to who-knows-where. Suddenly, a random thought occurred to me. I was thinking... What if we ran away on an adventure together? Yes, an adventure! He seemed muscular enough to survive the wilderness we'll go through. I know we just met, but this part of me knew it didn't matter. WAIT. What if he's bringing me to the place where we'll start our adventure?! OH MY SHORTS, HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THIS?! I plastered this huge, wide grin on my face.

Some minutes flew by—and I still had that grin on my face—when Buzz started to lower us down. YAS! OUR ADVENTURE HAS JUST BEGUN!

But then my face slowly fell when I realized where he was bringing me. He was bringing me back to my own, freaking swamp! Like, who does that to their destined love?!

"Here you go, Shrek. Now you may continue life" Buzz said, landing me onto that same place he found me.

Just before he left, I grabbed his arm. "Wait, Buzz, what about everything we've just been through? You saving me twice? Us having a beautifully comfortable silence? The adventure we were about to have?" I reminisced. Buzz looked at me. "Think about it, Buzz. Just think about it. We have this special bond. This special spark. Didn't that mean anything to you, Buzz?!"

He looked at me with pity in his eyes. He started to look reluctant to leave me fact, maybe he wasn't gonna leave me alone after all. But then he turned his face away.

"That meant NOTHING to me" he snarled, blasting off in full speed.

Leaving me and our memories behind.

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 **So yeah, there goes the first chapter. AMAZING.**

 **Look, I don't wanna seem desperate but...**

 **PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIMME A FAVORITE OR FOLLOW OR REVIEW OR SOMETHING. I NEED ALL THE SUPPORT I NEED. But if you don't want to, then I'm not forcing you. Lol.**

 **Ok I'm out. :p**


	2. Chapter 2: The Spaceman

**A/N: AAAAAAAND here goes the second and possibly final chapter... But before you burst into tears, I might have other plans to make other crossover ships stories.**

 **So can you, I don't know, give some suggestions for random ships? It could be anything. Olaf x Hello Kitty for example.**

 **With that said, please enjoy the finale of this two-shot**

 **(DISCLAIMER: I STILL DO NOT OWN ANYTHING)**

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Chapter 2: The Spaceman

 **[BUZZ'S POV]**

The more meters I flew, the more regret washed over me. Of course what I said to Shrek wasn't intentional. My heart shattered when I left him abruptly.

But then again, Shrek was already in a relationship with Fiona, and I didn't want to interfere with it. I had to remind myself again and again about that little fact.

But his complexion was so... green. So... Perfect. And who could forget those flawless horns/ears thingies of his? Thinking of him made me feel all tingly inside. But of course, I had to face reality; I could NEVER end up with a perfect ogre like Shrek.

I was only meters away from home. I realized this when I felt weight on my shoulders. I started slowing down. I didn't want to go back home, empty-handed—or in this case, empty-hearted.

That's when I realized the nincompoop I was. Seriously, WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

I turned around at the last minute and flew at full speed towards Shrek's cottage. It didn't matter what my brain said. All that mattered now was what my heart said. And my heart said to go back to my true love. And no, it isn't Jessie. It was—is—Shrek.

Suddenly, a downpour of raindrops splashed onto me heavily. Sure, I was soaking wet. And yes, I was shivering so damn hard. But did I care?

No.

No I didn't.

I didn't care about the obstacles I'd have to get through. As long as in the end, I'd get to see Shrek again, even if it was only for a split second. Ok, maybe a minute. Or two. And perhaps I can explain to him my sudden leave. (Although explaining isn't exactly my thing).

I could almost see it. Shrek's cottage was just around the horizon. YES! I landed beside another puddle of melted frogs similar to the one I saved Shrek from falling onto. Now all I needed to do was hope it wasn't too late.

I searched the whole area. But alas, I couldn't find him. Maybe I dreamt to hard. I was too late. Lightning started to rumble. The rain was getting worse. Just as I was ready to give up, I heard a familiar voice call my name.

"Buzz, is that you?!" I turned my head to see who's voice it was. GASP. Was that... Shrek?!

Just as I was about to speak, he interrupted me. "Meh, who cares?! I "mean nothing" to you, don't I?" Ouch. That really hurt my heart.

"Shrek! Please! Just let me explain!" I reasoned. Lightning rumbled again. This time, much flashier.

"Explain what? The fact that you don't need me?" Now that broke my heart some more.

"If you just allowed me to talk—"

"Blah, blah, blah. What was that? Oh wait, it's just the earwax clogged in my ears!" He mocked. Now he was just being plain rude.

I decided he really didn't want me. But then he ran towards me and pushed me down the cold, hard ground. "BUZZ! WATCH OUT!" He cried as he pushed me. "ACK! What gives?!" I asked, clearly annoyed.

Suddenly, THUD! A tree collapsed due to the forceful lightning. And if my calculations were right, then the tree would've collapsed onto me.

But it didn't. All because... Shrek pushed me. GASP. He pushed me because he was trying to save my life from being crushed— literally!

"SHREK!" I cried as I tried to help Shrek out. Unfortunately, the tree was too heavy for me to lift.

"I... L-l-love... You... B-B-Buzz" he stuttered. "I... L-l-love... You... Even... M-m-more... Than I... E-e-ever... Loved... F-F-Fiona" he added.

He was already holding onto my hand when he have it a frail squeeze. I placed his hand onto my cheek.

"Shrek... Please, please, please don't die on me! I need you" I choked as hot tears started to form in my eyes.

He gave me one last sad smile. And then he fell unconscious, letting go of my hand. That was it.

He was gone.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I busted into tears and started sobbing uncontrollably. The mixture of my salty tears and the heavy rain somehow got into my mouth. BLEH.

But I didn't care to say "bleh" out loud. I was too busy crying in pain.

My eyelids started to feel heavy. It was drooping ever so slightly. The sooner I knew it, I fell into a deep slumber.

-3 MONTHS LATER-

Another successful day at the coffee shop has just finished. It was finally time for me to hit the hay. Suddenly, a gust of cold wind filled my apartment. Brrr.

I walked towards the opened window that let the air in so that I could close it and stop the wind from coming in. But before I could do that, a huge, green figure flew into my room from said window.

OH. MY. SHORTS.

Were my eyes deceiving me? Was that... No, it couldn't be. I rubbed my eyes, just incase they weren't functioning. Nope, it was working perfectly fine. And that meant that the huge, green figure in front of me, whom I reserved my destitute heart for, was in fact alive.

"Shrek?" I whispered. He smiled. Then he opened his arms.

"Come here" he softly invited. I quickly wrapped my arms around him and let him gave me the big bear hug I've been oh-so desperately needed for so long.

Newly-formed tears stung my eyes. But this time, they were tears of joy. They wet Shrek's sleeve. He, later on, cried his eyeballs out too.

For the first time in forever, I felt like I actually belonged somewhere—in his heart. Of course, he always have a spot in my heart.

I was happy. He was happy.

And we were home.

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 **AAAAAAAAAAND THAT'S A WRAP!**

 **Thanks for reading this! Hope to see ya soon!**

 **Maybe in another random crossover ship story. Or perhaps in a Romanogers story I have in mind... idk. Lol.**

 **Oh well, only time will tell ;)  
**

 **DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A FOLLOW/FAVORITE/REVIEW/ETC!**

 **Ok, guess that's all. This is CHARMINGLITTLERUBY signing up.**

 **Ruby out. PEACE**


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